Carol with no last name by Adam Denney

Carol, With No Last Name
What is a name? What is a name's importance? Family names (last names as we so regularly call them) give the sense of belonging from birth. As you take on your family's name you essentially become part of your family. One of the things people strive for the most in the world is a feeling of belonging, something that seems so simple but so many people feel without. When you lose something as small as your last name, you lose one aspect of belonging, belonging to one's own family. Carol has no last name. Carol does not belong. She is cursed with being alone and belonging to nothing and no one. Maybe this is the cause of Carol's impractical way of living. Carol with no last name has an odd appearance, unusual habits, and a mysterious past which nobody knows. Indeed, Carol has an odd appearance. Her mouse-like gray hair is very short and thin like thread. The hair that is still left on her head is styled spiked except for the balding at the crown. Her forehead is wrinkled like a naked mole rat at birth. She must feel differently about her eyebrows every other month because she likes to either let them grow very big and bushy or shave them completely off. Lurking under those sometimes there and sometimes not there eyebrows are her crossed and baggy eyes. The real noticeable thing about her eyes though is her look of constant confusion, sadness, and a naïve child trapped inside. Her nose is fat and wide with flaring nostrils to boot. Covering the few teeth that she has is a thin almost non-existent lip and a huge very existing bottom lip that sticks out in a never ending pout. Her chin is long, wide, and topped off with a few gray whiskers. I do not know if she has any cheekbones because her cheeks are so fat and bubbly that they make her face appear as a round ball sitting on a giraffe's neck which leads us to her equally odd body structure. Her body structure is first defined by her broad shoulders and long arms. She has what seems to be a slumped hunchback. In contrast to her back is her unsupported, gravity stricken breasts which linger over her bubble-like belly, hips, and bottom. This along with her long legs gives the illusion of a waddle walk. We cannot discuss her odd appearance without mentioning her equally odd style. While most people who dress with the season coordinate their clothes with the corresponding colors, Carol decorates her body like a festive house. From fake spider webs in her hair during Halloween to fireworks head gear on the Fourth of July, Carol's holiday spirit is shown by her wardrobe. However, Carol's favorite holiday to dress up for is Christmas. On the days leading up to Christmas Carol decks her fashion with bright red Santa hats, Christmas bows, reindeer antlers, and Christmas lights. Carol is very festive for the holidays. Other than her unique dress Carol has very unusual habits. During dinners at the church Carol fills her plate with mountain high piles of turkey and dresses it up with a waterfall of mustard. She is also very fond of boiled eggs. Always make sure you have extra pepper around the table that Carol will be sitting because she likes to use the entire shaker. If Carol sees something else other than her usual eggs and turkey she likes, she will take the whole plate from the table and devour every bit of it. At the end of the dinner not a single crumb is to be left on Carol's plate. Eventually people have learned to get in front of Carol in the line. Carol also likes to take food home. If there is no food left on the table she will go to the cabinets of the church and take what she desires. In Carol's spare time you can often find her riding around in town on her bicycle to many convenient locations. In the summer Carol likes to hula hoop and is often found with a hula hoop at hand. She enjoys collecting McDonald's happy meal toys and by coincidence many happy meal toys will show up mysteriously in the nursery. Maybe the fact Carol has no last name and no family is the reason she likes to latch on to people. Carol longs for a last name. This may explain why she will change her last name to the family she has latched onto at that particular time. Maybe the reason no one knows why she does this is because of her slow, slurred, uneducated speech that no one is able to make out. In addition to Carol's odd appearance and habits is her mysterious past. Decoding her past has been an interesting topic at most Sunday night bible studies. One explanation is that Carol was part of the FBI. She was extremely smart, graduating from Harvard and was one of the leading agents. Rumor is that Carol found out about a huge government secret. Supposedly when the government figured out she knew, they erased her memory of everything in the past and dropped her off at this location where the secret would never be leaked. Another fun church rumor is that she came from an extremely rich background and was lost as a child. Something traumatic happened to her causing her to remember nothing about who she is or where she came from and from long term effect is still in a child's mindset. Some people even like to think she is an angel sent by God to test his people. To them the test is to see the compassion of God's people in today's world. Acts of pity and giving is sometimes showed to Carol by people to please God. In any event, Carol with no last name, as you can see, does have an impractical way of living and a need to belong. Carol finds her sense of belonging in church, and the congregation tolerates Carol. They tolerate Carol by speaking down to her and avoiding her during prayer request. They tolerate Carol by not inviting her to church picnics and gatherings. They tolerate Carol by discussing her during church activities, phone conversations, and meetings. They tolerate Carol by giggling when she stands up during praise songs and worships God with her whole body. They tolerate Carol by snickering, sometimes out loud, at her wardrobe. They tolerate Carol by letting her come to church. Carol with no last name does not belong to anything or anyone.